Pema Chödrön teaches us Tonglen, or “sending and taking,” an ancient Buddhist practice to awaken compassion. This practice reverses the usual habit of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure. By practicing Tonglen, we connect with a larger sense of reality and develop compassion for both ourselves and others.
In Tonglen, we visualize taking in the pain of others with each in-breath and sending out relief and well-being with each out-breath. This process liberates us from patterns of selfishness and introduces us to the vast spaciousness of shunyata (emptiness). Whether performed as a formal meditation or spontaneously in everyday life, Tonglen is a powerful path to cultivating compassion.
The Essence of Tonglen Meditation
- Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us. Use what seems like poison as medicine.
- When you encounter someone’s suffering, resist the urge to look away. Instead, breathe in their pain and send out relief.
- Tonglen can be practiced for:
- Those who are ill or dying.
- Those who are grieving or in pain.
- People facing the same struggles as you.
- Even those you consider enemies.
Rather than avoiding our personal suffering, Tonglen encourages us to use it as a stepping stone for understanding and compassion.
The Four Stages of Tonglen Meditation
When practiced formally, Tonglen consists of four stages:
1. Flash on Bodhichitta
- Rest your mind briefly in a state of openness or stillness.
- This is called flashing on absolute bodhichitta (awakened heart-mind), a moment of clarity and spaciousness.
2. Begin the Visualization
- Work with textures and sensations:
- Breathe in feelings of heat, darkness, and heaviness—a sense of claustrophobia.
- Breathe out feelings of coolness, brightness, and light—a sense of freshness.
- Imagine negative energy entering through all the pores of your body on the in-breath and positive energy radiating out through all the pores on the out-breath.
- Continue until your visualization is synchronized with your breathing.
3. Focus on a Personal Situation
- Focus on a painful situation that is personal and real to you:
- Begin with someone you care about and wish to help.
- If stuck, start with your own pain and extend it to all others feeling the same suffering.
- Example: If you feel inadequate, breathe in that feeling for yourself and everyone else experiencing it. Breathe out confidence, adequacy, and relief.
4. Expand Your Compassion
- Extend the practice beyond one individual:
- If you’re practicing for someone you love, expand it to everyone in similar circumstances.
- Practice for strangers you see on the street or on television.
- Include people you consider enemies, recognizing their confusion and suffering.
- Breathe in their pain and send them relief and healing.
Practical Applications of Tonglen
Tonglen can be practiced anytime, anywhere:
- While walking, if you see someone in pain, breathe in their suffering and send out relief.
- Use Tonglen to address global suffering by visualizing taking in the collective pain and sending out peace.
- Turn your own struggles into an opportunity to connect with the shared human experience of suffering.
Why Practice Tonglen?
- Awakens Compassion: Opens your heart to others’ pain and fosters love and care.
- Breaks Patterns of Selfishness: Helps overcome habitual resistance to suffering.
- Connects to Shunyata: Introduces the spaciousness and interconnectedness of all beings.
- Transforms Pain: Turns personal suffering into a path of healing for all.
By practicing Tonglen, we discover the boundless capacity of the human heart to embrace and alleviate suffering. As Pema Chödrön teaches, “Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us. Use what seems like poison as medicine.”